I have been pretty successfully in recent weeks at using my breath to reconsider my negative thoughts and emotions, in order to remain calm and present, and respond from a heartfelt state, versus an agitated state. But there was an interesting family dynamic happening in my life earlier in the week, and my emotions were getting the better of me. I was angry, mad, and irritated. I was generally upset by the whole situation and the people involved.
I was also very aware of my negative feelings, and they were upsetting to me. I didn’t want to feel irritated and mad, but I didn’t know how to move past the emotions. It was hard for me to separate myself from the situation, when I was so wrapped up in my feelings, and with the outcome of the circumstance. I kept asking myself, “Why do you feel this way? Why are you mad?”
After a fitful sleep, I woke up early. Too early. I wanted to sleep more. I needed to sleep more. But the sun was blazing, I was going to be with the kids all day, and if I wanted to go running before John left for work, I needed to get up. I also had the feeling that I wouldn’t be able to get back to sleep anyway. I wanted to clear my mixed head. I tiptoed to get dressed, being mindful not to wake anyone else. I had a few sips of green juice I’d made the night before, and headed towards the beach on foot. The air was still, and there wasn’t a breath of wind. It was just me, the sound of my feet hitting the earth, my heart pumping in my chest, and a few mosquitos in my wake.
I found my way to my favourite beach and ran along the edge of the ocean. The sun was well on its way up in the sky, and when I got to my usual turn around spot, I didn’t take the path leading back to the road. I looped back and decided to run back along the beach, retracing my steps in the sand. The issue was still swirling in my head and I couldn’t get it settled in my mind what to do, what to say, or how to feel.
I had this sense of Wayne Dyer being in my pocket, who at one point in his life was a runner. I was thinking of him, and I asked myself, “What would Wayne do? What would Wayne say?” Now, keep in mind, I have never met him, but I have read some of his books, watched his videos, and my life coach / friend was (is) close to him. Sometimes, when I meditate, I think I can feel his spirit, and this was one of those moments.
“Wayne, what should I do??? Help me please?”
No sooner did I say my little prayer to him, but I tripped over something in the sand. I stopped and looked down. On this completely flat, sandy beach, the area of the beach where there are no rocks, there was a series of rocks that someone had placed in the sand in the shape of a heart. Ahhhh, my heart softened. That’s it. There’s my answer! Respond with Love.
I read a passage in one of Wayne’s books that explained that in every situation, there are 2 choices. You can respond with love, or you can respond with fear. And so, on my way home, with this in mind, my heart felt settled and at ease. I could be mad at people, I could resent people, or I could look at the whole situation and feel love and compassion for the actors involved, including myself. That doesn’t mean I have to LIKE the situation, but that instead of approaching it from a negative place, I can approach it from a heart filled place.
Sending you love and light…
PS. I went back later in the day to snap a photo…and the tide had come up a bit, hence the water in the photo 🙂